Here’s Why…
The human psyche is a fascinatingly complex thing, made up of countless layers of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that shape who we are and how we show up in the world. Over time, through societal conditioning and personal experiences—both joyful and traumatic—we develop an external persona that reflects only parts of who we truly are. The parts we believe are desirable or acceptable to the world.
But what about the parts we hide? The aspects of ourselves we suppress, often unknowingly, because we think they’ll be judged or rejected? Those parts of us don’t disappear. Instead, they retreat into the subconscious, forming what is known as your shadow.
What Is the Shadow?
Your shadow self is made up of all the qualities, emotions, and traits that you’ve suppressed or disowned over time because you were taught, they weren’t acceptable. Most shadows are formed in childhood, when you experienced an emotion or trait that wasn’t validated by those around you. Maybe you were told not to cry, to toughen up, or to stop being too bold. In an effort to belong and gain acceptance, you bury those parts of yourself.
For example, if you were made to feel guilty for expressing sadness as a child because it upset a caregiver, you might have learned to suppress sadness altogether. Over time, that sadness gets buried so deep within you that it’s replaced by another, more “acceptable” emotion—like anger or frustration. When situations in adulthood elicit sadness, you might feel anger instead. You may also get triggered when you see others express sadness, because it stirs something deep within you that hasn’t been acknowledged.
This is the cleverness of the shadow—it hides in plain sight, subtly driving your reactions and behaviors without you even realizing it. The emotions you feel most intensely are often not the true emotions but masks for the deeper, unacknowledged feelings hidden in your shadow.
Shadows Form Habits
Once shadows take root, they become ingrained in your behaviour. You may find yourself reacting automatically in ways that feel out of your control. Think about the times you felt embarrassed, humiliated, or triggered by someone else's success or vulnerability. Often, those intense reactions are clues pointing directly to your shadow.
Shadows aren’t always about "negative" emotions either. Sometimes, we suppress positive traits like self-confidence, creativity, or success because we were taught they didn’t fit our perceived role in life. If you were raised to believe that standing out or being too confident would alienate you from others, you might suppress those parts of yourself. As a result, seeing others embody those qualities might stir up envy or discomfort.
The Power of Shadow Work
The shadow, while hidden, is incredibly powerful. As long as it remains unexamined, it can control your behaviours and emotions from behind the scenes, influencing your life in ways you may not even realize. Shadow work is the process of uncovering, understanding, and integrating these hidden aspects of yourself. By facing your shadows, you take the power back, gaining control over your emotional responses and freeing yourself from patterns of self-sabotage.
When you start doing shadow work, you become aware of your unconscious triggers and patterns. You realize that certain emotions or reactions are rooted in old stories and unhealed parts of yourself. This awareness allows you to start healing those parts, ultimately leading to greater self-acceptance and emotional freedom.
Why Shadow Work is Essential for Growth
Avoiding shadow work keeps you stuck in a cycle of repeating old patterns. The more you avoid facing your deepest triggers, the more they manifest in your life, showing up as blocks to your happiness, success, and emotional well-being. Shadow work, though challenging, empowers you to break free from this loop and step into your fullest potential.
The beauty of shadow work is that it helps you heal on multiple levels. It’s not about getting rid of the shadow. Instead, it’s about embracing and accepting those hidden parts of yourself so you can release the power they hold over you. By doing this, you can transmute that energy into something constructive—into personal growth, creativity, and authenticity.
Shadow work allows you to:
- Heal old wounds that are still affecting your behaviour today.
- Break patterns of self-sabotage and emotional reactivity.
- Develop a deeper understanding of yourself and why you respond to life in certain ways.
- Live more authentically, with greater emotional freedom and self-acceptance.
- Raise your vibration, which in turn positively impacts the people around you.
Scorpio Season: A Time for Shadow Work
The timing of shadow work is also key, and Scorpio season—the time of deep transformation, revelation, and alchemy—is a perfect opportunity to dive into this inner exploration. Scorpio energy invites you to peel back the layers of your subconscious and reveal the parts of yourself that are controlling your life from behind the curtain.
This season, embrace your inner alchemist, psychologist, and healer as you embark on the journey of shadow work. Take time to reflect on your deepest triggers and where they might stem from. Dive into the aspects of yourself you’ve long avoided. It’s only by facing these parts that you can truly integrate and heal.
Tips for Starting Your Shadow Work Journey:
- Observe your triggers: Pay attention to the emotions or situations that trigger a strong reaction in you. Often, these are clues that lead back to a shadow.
- Journal regularly: Writing about your triggers, feelings, and behaviours helps you explore your shadow self in a safe space. Ask yourself: What am I really feeling here? What part of me have I denied or suppressed?
- Practice self-compassion: Shadow work is difficult, and it’s easy to be hard on yourself when facing uncomfortable truths. Remember to approach your shadows with love and acceptance. They are part of you, and they’ve likely been formed as a protective mechanism.
- Use tools like the Wheel of Emotions: When you’re unsure of what you’re really feeling, tools like the Wheel of Emotions can help you pinpoint the deeper, underlying emotion beneath your reaction.
Embrace the Fullness of Who You Are
Shadow work isn’t just about confronting your darkest emotions; it’s about accepting your whole self —the light and the dark. Every part of you, even the parts you’ve hidden, plays a role in your story. Embracing those parts fully is the key to becoming the empowered, authentic woman you’re meant to be.
Give yourself grace and patience as you go through this process. Feel deeply, sit with discomfort, and remember that every shadow you face is an opportunity for growth. In time, you’ll find that shadow work is not only transformative but the most liberating and empowering work you can do for yourself.
It's a profound journey of self-discovery, healing, and embracing your true potential.
Shadow work is the most important work you’ll ever do because it frees you from the invisible chains of the past and opens the door to living the life of your dreams—one filled with purpose, peace, and authentic power.
Journaling Questions for Shadow Work:
What are my strongest emotional triggers, and how do I usually react to them? Explore which situations or people tend to bring out strong emotions in you. What emotions surface, and what deeper feelings might be hiding underneath?
What parts of myself do I find hard to accept or show to others, and why? Reflect on the aspects of yourself that you’ve suppressed or feel uncomfortable revealing. Consider how these shadows formed and how they’ve influenced your life.
What patterns in my life do I feel stuck in, and how might my shadow be contributing to them? Identify recurring patterns in your life—whether in relationships, work, or self-care. Ask yourself if these patterns are connected to unhealed aspects of your shadow self.
When I see qualities in others that trigger me, what does it reveal about my own shadow? Explore what qualities in other people tend to evoke strong reactions. Consider if these traits are aspects of yourself that you’ve suppressed or judged.
What hidden emotions or past experiences am I ready to acknowledge, heal, and integrate? Invite yourself to revisit emotions or experiences you may have buried. This question can help you bring those hidden parts into the light for healing and acceptance.
How can I bring more compassion and love to the parts of myself that I’ve judged or ignored? Reflect on ways you can practice self-compassion and acceptance as you face your shadow. How can you nurture and support yourself during this process?
In what ways could embracing my shadow help me grow into my most authentic self? Think about the positive transformation that can come from shadow work. How might it lead you toward greater authenticity, emotional freedom, and personal empowerment?
Working with Your Human Design Chart and Astrology: A Personal Journey with Shadows
When working with your Human Design chart, it’s helpful to look at your astrology placements, particularly those that sit within your Scorpio sign. Scorpio is known for transformation, deep introspection, and uncovering hidden layers of the self, making it the perfect time for shadow work.
For example, in my astrology chart, I have Uranus at 2 degrees of Scorpio. In Human Design, the gates activated by Uranus in my chart are Gate 28 and Gate 50.
Gate 28 carries the shadow of Fear of Meaninglessness and Struggle. This shadow manifests as a fear that life has no inherent meaning, or an addiction to struggle—where I may unconsciously create challenges to feel purposeful.
Gate 50 reveals the shadow of Fear of Responsibility and Guilt. This shadow shows up as guilt for not doing enough or feeling that I must overextend myself to care for others, often at the expense of my own well-being.
During this period, I’m giving myself the space to sit with these shadows. I’m allowing the layers to emerge and present themselves, so I can witness them fully. By being present with these fears, I can release the parts of them that no longer serve me and have outgrown.
In my chart, Scorpio also occupies my 1st and 2nd Houses—which govern identity and self-worth (1st House) and values, finances, and personal security (2nd House). I’ll also be creating space to explore the shadows related to these areas of my life, letting them surface so I can continue my journey of healing and transformation.
Affirmation for Shadow Work:
"I honour and accept all parts of myself, even those I have hidden. I am whole and worthy as I am."
"I give myself permission to face my shadows with love and compassion. I am safe to explore all aspects of my being."
"I release judgment toward my hidden emotions. I embrace my full self with grace."
"Through my shadow work, I step into my power. I am healing, growing, and evolving."
"I trust that facing my shadows will bring me closer to my true self and highest potential."
Caroline Dearlove
Author
"I am the witness to your soul. I listen with grace by my side. I inspire you to be curious with how you learn the wisdom that this world has to offer you. Birthing your vision from a place of joy & desire. Holding you, so you feel safe to drop into your soul and allow it to lead you. There is nothing more powerful than releasing who we are not, grounding into the earths magic and opening our hearts. I am a teacher, a healer & a business doula - the tools that I use are Intuitive Energy Healing, Human Design, Bodywork & Meditation."
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